Consequences of and Solutions to This Counter-Productive Mindset
I realized that I might have been harsh on the first part of this topic that I've covered. Instead of ranting some more, I would like to present some questions, along with factual evidence.
-Why do Black women (even women of other races) like 'bad boys'?
-Why do a lot of Black men prefer to date outside of their race?
-Why do a lot of Black women have 'attitude'?
-Why are there a lot of single mothers in the Black community?
-Why are shows like Bad Girls Club, Scandal, Maury, and Jerry Springer so popular?
Here are some real life situations that I've uncovered that fit this topic:
-There was a 24-year old Black woman who was punched by a bus driver after she got into a heated argument with him who actually punched him first (while he was driving the bus).
-The was another Black woman who is currently serving a 21-year sentence for tax fraud.
-The Black woman who falsely accused the Duke lacrosse players of rape is serving a 13-year sentence for murdering her boyfriend.
-A Black mother was arrested for killing her boyfriend because he only bought her a card and some flowers on Mother's Day.
-A Black mother of three was arrested for murdering her boyfriend and shoving him inside of his freezer (also, all three of her children are missing as of September 5 of this year).
-Another Black woman killed her boyfriend's sister over $20.
-A Black woman was arrested in Florida for killing her ex-boyfriend after allegedly harassing him on several occasions.
-One Black woman killed her boyfriend because he wouldn't give her a cigarette.
-A 41-year old Black woman didn't tell her boyfriend that she had HIV.
-A Baltimore woman was arrested after breaking into her ex-boyfriend's home and attempting to kill his eight-year old son.
-There is a viral video about a Black girl named Sharkeisha who assaulted another Black girl.
-Wanetta Gibson was forced to pay back $2.6 million after falsely accusing Brian Banks of raping her.
-Superstar rapper Nas was criticized by his ex-girlfriend Carmen Bryan for making the grammy-nominated song 'Daughters' for 'putting their business out there'. Ironically, she wrote a book titled It's No Secret: From Nas to Jay-Z, from Seduction to Scandal-a Hip-Hop Helen of Troy Tells All, detailing her affair with Jay-Z while dating Nas.
-Nas was also forced to pay $40,000 a month in child support when he and Kelis got divorced. Ironically, Kelis has a net worth of $4 million.
-A McDonald's employee beat two women with a metal object, but only after one of them spat on him, slapped him in the face, and both of them attempted to jump over the counter and attack him.
-Karrine Steffans (aka 'Superhead') wrote a book titled Confessions of a Video Vixen, detailing her sexual encounters with about 55 rappers, (including two female rappers) even going so far as to describe the shape of their penises. I kid you not.
What is with all of these reoccurring stories of violence and/or hypocrisy with Black women? Are they like that? Of course not. They are actually quite the opposite. The real reason why a lot of Black women act like they've lost their minds is because they have either directly or indirectly drank the Kool-aid that is Black feminism. Before you think all of what I said is pure bull, just stop and look at some data that I've collected.
(Disclaimer: this is not aimed to be a complete scapegoat for anytime a Black female gets cranky or upset. Rather, it is meant to address these recurring behaviors in some females).
-Why do Black women (even women of other races) like 'bad boys'?
-Why do a lot of Black men prefer to date outside of their race?
-Why do a lot of Black women have 'attitude'?
-Why are there a lot of single mothers in the Black community?
-Why are shows like Bad Girls Club, Scandal, Maury, and Jerry Springer so popular?
Here are some real life situations that I've uncovered that fit this topic:
-There was a 24-year old Black woman who was punched by a bus driver after she got into a heated argument with him who actually punched him first (while he was driving the bus).
-The was another Black woman who is currently serving a 21-year sentence for tax fraud.
-The Black woman who falsely accused the Duke lacrosse players of rape is serving a 13-year sentence for murdering her boyfriend.
-A Black mother was arrested for killing her boyfriend because he only bought her a card and some flowers on Mother's Day.
-A Black mother of three was arrested for murdering her boyfriend and shoving him inside of his freezer (also, all three of her children are missing as of September 5 of this year).
-Another Black woman killed her boyfriend's sister over $20.
-A Black woman was arrested in Florida for killing her ex-boyfriend after allegedly harassing him on several occasions.
-One Black woman killed her boyfriend because he wouldn't give her a cigarette.
-A 41-year old Black woman didn't tell her boyfriend that she had HIV.
-A Baltimore woman was arrested after breaking into her ex-boyfriend's home and attempting to kill his eight-year old son.
-There is a viral video about a Black girl named Sharkeisha who assaulted another Black girl.
-Wanetta Gibson was forced to pay back $2.6 million after falsely accusing Brian Banks of raping her.
-Superstar rapper Nas was criticized by his ex-girlfriend Carmen Bryan for making the grammy-nominated song 'Daughters' for 'putting their business out there'. Ironically, she wrote a book titled It's No Secret: From Nas to Jay-Z, from Seduction to Scandal-a Hip-Hop Helen of Troy Tells All, detailing her affair with Jay-Z while dating Nas.
-Nas was also forced to pay $40,000 a month in child support when he and Kelis got divorced. Ironically, Kelis has a net worth of $4 million.
-A McDonald's employee beat two women with a metal object, but only after one of them spat on him, slapped him in the face, and both of them attempted to jump over the counter and attack him.
-Karrine Steffans (aka 'Superhead') wrote a book titled Confessions of a Video Vixen, detailing her sexual encounters with about 55 rappers, (including two female rappers) even going so far as to describe the shape of their penises. I kid you not.
What is with all of these reoccurring stories of violence and/or hypocrisy with Black women? Are they like that? Of course not. They are actually quite the opposite. The real reason why a lot of Black women act like they've lost their minds is because they have either directly or indirectly drank the Kool-aid that is Black feminism. Before you think all of what I said is pure bull, just stop and look at some data that I've collected.
(Disclaimer: this is not aimed to be a complete scapegoat for anytime a Black female gets cranky or upset. Rather, it is meant to address these recurring behaviors in some females).
The Facts:
-72% of Black children are born to single-mothers, according to a 2010 study.
-35.6% of Black single mothers live below the poverty according to a 2008 study.
-72% of Black children are born to single-mothers, according to a 2010 study.
-35.6% of Black single mothers live below the poverty according to a 2008 study.
-60% of rapists, 72% of teenage murderers, and 70% of long-term prison inmates grew up in fatherless homes.
-U.S. taxpayers shell out $1 trillion every year on welfare.
-Black women spend 500 billion dollars on hair care and weaves.
-Children are more likely to be abused in single parent families.
-32.3 billion dollars are were spent in 2012 in relation to casual sex in the Black community, according to one study.
-In the mid sixties (1964-1966), the illegitimacy rate was 7.7% in the Black community. By 1976, it was 50.3%.
-Black women with college degrees outnumber Black men with college degrees almost 2 to 1.
-70% of Black women are unmarried.
-Abortions have killed more Blacks than violent crime, AIDS, heart disease, accidents, and cancer combined.
-Women initiate divorce in the U.S. 66% of the time (also, only 33% of men say that they wouldn't remarry).
Things to Remember:
-Welfare gives its greatest benefits to single mothers and penalizes married couples.
-The Lily Ledbetter Act for fair pay for women was the very first act that Obama signed into law.
-U.S. taxpayers shell out $1 trillion every year on welfare.
-Black women spend 500 billion dollars on hair care and weaves.
-Children are more likely to be abused in single parent families.
-32.3 billion dollars are were spent in 2012 in relation to casual sex in the Black community, according to one study.
-In the mid sixties (1964-1966), the illegitimacy rate was 7.7% in the Black community. By 1976, it was 50.3%.
-Black women with college degrees outnumber Black men with college degrees almost 2 to 1.
-70% of Black women are unmarried.
-Abortions have killed more Blacks than violent crime, AIDS, heart disease, accidents, and cancer combined.
-Women initiate divorce in the U.S. 66% of the time (also, only 33% of men say that they wouldn't remarry).
Things to Remember:
-Welfare gives its greatest benefits to single mothers and penalizes married couples.
-Title IX was passed in 1972.
-A large portion of Black feminists were lesbians.
-A large portion of Black feminists were lesbians.
-Number one killer of Black men? Stress (or rather, heart disease).
-A large portion of rape allegations in the U.S. are falsified.
How Things Have Changed Over the Years:
During pre-slavery days (in this patriarchal cycle), men usually worked outside of the house or went off to battle, while women worked in the house. In spite of this, a lot of Black women (especially queens) were heavily involved in economics and trade, so as to not make themselves out to be nothing but baby-makers and cooks. There were always two parents in the household, and the couple was joined together by arranged marriage; however it was usually only with that person's romantic soul mate, so it made the transition from being single to being married fairly easy.
During slavery, the Black women was forced to take care of the White master's children first, even over her own children. On top of that, she was often raped by the male slave owner and forced to conceive mixed babies, who were put in the house instead of the field. To instill fear, often the strongest male slave on the plantation was emotionally castrated and then beaten in front of his wife and kids. Because of this, the Black woman had to sum up extra strength in order to "hold the fort down" for her family.
After legal slavery was over, the dynamic never really changed between races. Though the two-parent home survived through thick and then, there was still some cases of male chauvinistic pride in some Black men, which led to some cases of abuse. This was demonstrated in the movie The Color Purple. Then, in the 1950's and 1960's, there was a gender awakening in both sexes. Both Black men and Black women realized that they needed each other in order to fight racism (this is why illegitimacy was so low during the mid-sixties). Both had equal footing in the Civil Rights movement. A large portion of the people fighting in the Civil Rights movement were young people (this is why SNCC was formed).
But then a wrench was thrown in the Civil Rights machine. The Women's Liberation movement appeared, and many Black women branched off into that. Here is where the problem arises. The feminist movement was a movement centered around gender inequalities between White women and White men. Black women were told to put their racial issues on a back-burner for 'women's rights'. As a result, they took up a fight that wasn't theirs and turned their collective focus towards Black men and how they were being oppressed by them. Here's another problem with that mindset. Black men had almost no power to oppress their women, especially economically. So, as a result, for every Black woman who left an honestly bad relationship, you probably had two or three who stepped out on perfectly good relationships, all in the name of 'sexual liberation' and 'independence'. This is why the illegitimacy rate rose so sharply. Add to the fire the media propaganda regarding the 'diva/control freak' and the 'no good Black thug/chauvinistic abuser', and now you've managed to dismantle an entire social movement and bring forth the stereotypes of the angry, nagging, ghetto, insecure, slutty, superficial, and indecisive/insatiable Black woman.
-A large portion of rape allegations in the U.S. are falsified.
How Things Have Changed Over the Years:
During pre-slavery days (in this patriarchal cycle), men usually worked outside of the house or went off to battle, while women worked in the house. In spite of this, a lot of Black women (especially queens) were heavily involved in economics and trade, so as to not make themselves out to be nothing but baby-makers and cooks. There were always two parents in the household, and the couple was joined together by arranged marriage; however it was usually only with that person's romantic soul mate, so it made the transition from being single to being married fairly easy.
During slavery, the Black women was forced to take care of the White master's children first, even over her own children. On top of that, she was often raped by the male slave owner and forced to conceive mixed babies, who were put in the house instead of the field. To instill fear, often the strongest male slave on the plantation was emotionally castrated and then beaten in front of his wife and kids. Because of this, the Black woman had to sum up extra strength in order to "hold the fort down" for her family.
After legal slavery was over, the dynamic never really changed between races. Though the two-parent home survived through thick and then, there was still some cases of male chauvinistic pride in some Black men, which led to some cases of abuse. This was demonstrated in the movie The Color Purple. Then, in the 1950's and 1960's, there was a gender awakening in both sexes. Both Black men and Black women realized that they needed each other in order to fight racism (this is why illegitimacy was so low during the mid-sixties). Both had equal footing in the Civil Rights movement. A large portion of the people fighting in the Civil Rights movement were young people (this is why SNCC was formed).
But then a wrench was thrown in the Civil Rights machine. The Women's Liberation movement appeared, and many Black women branched off into that. Here is where the problem arises. The feminist movement was a movement centered around gender inequalities between White women and White men. Black women were told to put their racial issues on a back-burner for 'women's rights'. As a result, they took up a fight that wasn't theirs and turned their collective focus towards Black men and how they were being oppressed by them. Here's another problem with that mindset. Black men had almost no power to oppress their women, especially economically. So, as a result, for every Black woman who left an honestly bad relationship, you probably had two or three who stepped out on perfectly good relationships, all in the name of 'sexual liberation' and 'independence'. This is why the illegitimacy rate rose so sharply. Add to the fire the media propaganda regarding the 'diva/control freak' and the 'no good Black thug/chauvinistic abuser', and now you've managed to dismantle an entire social movement and bring forth the stereotypes of the angry, nagging, ghetto, insecure, slutty, superficial, and indecisive/insatiable Black woman.
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| Photos that depict the unfortunate stereotypes. |
In spite of this bleak situation, things can definitely change for the better. If Black men and Black women want to change this destructive cycle, we have to learn to come together and see each other as companions, not enemies. The reason why it seems that the Black community can't get ahead is because a lot of people still think with a slave mindset. The Black community has to learn to be self-sufficient if it is going to rise above all of the opposition and sabotage thrown its way.
Solutions?
Here are some ways that we can combat this negativity.
1) Financial literacy.
You wouldn't have so many Black women worrying about money if they knew how it worked. Here is some information of finances that I've found.
Books
-Rich Dad, Poor Dad and Cash Flow Quadrant by Robert Kiyosaki-Warren Buffet Invests Like a Girl (and Why You Should Too) by Warren Buffet
-Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
Games
-Monopoly-Cashflow (play online for free at www.richdad.com)
2) Going natural.
Like I've pointed out before, Black women spend half of a trillion dollars on hair-care and beauty products. Not only is wearing ones natural hair more economical, but there are also psychological and spiritual benefits to doing it too, as outlined in this video.
3) Knowing your history.
The more we know, the less likely we are to act out of ignorance. Knowledge is power. If you want to find a good place to start, here are two documentaries that I've stumbled upon.
4) The power of music.
We all know about the negro spirituals which gave out secret directions to escaping slavery. Well, that relationship has never really changed in Black music. If you want some positive music to listen to, check out some of these albums:
Baduzium by Eryka Badu
Who is Jill Scott?: Words and Sounds Vol.1 by Jill Scott
Black Radio by Robert Glasper
The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill by Lauryn Hill
Mos Def and Talib Kweli are Black Star by Black Star
Songs in the Key of Life by Stevie Wonder
Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite by Maxwell
Mahogany Soul by Angie Stone
The Minstrel Show by Little Brother
Charity Starts at Home by Phonte
Things Fall Apart by The Roots
5) Honesty.
If both Black women and men want to get along with each other, they need to be upfront and honest about feelings and expectations about each other.
6) Comedy.
Many of these issues that I have brought up have been hilariously mocked by many stand-up and YouTube comedians. Check out people such as Chris Rock, Paul Mooney, Sommore, Deanne Bobbi, TreyMoe, and Sinbad, among others. Laughter is the best medicine after all.
7) Quit digging the hole.
Simply put, negative stereotypes persist because no one stops entertaining them. If people stop watching BET, Jerry Springer, Maury, and Basketball Wives, we can more easily end the negative media perceptions of Black Americans (especially Black women). There is absolutely nothing wrong with a Black woman modeling off her natural beauty. However, don't do it to such an extent that it becomes a problem.
Agree? Disagree? Please leave comments below.
Further Reading:
http://www.avoiceformen.com/men/fathers/black-mans-burden-myth-of-the-deadbeat/
http://madamenoire.com/33505/10-ways-to-end-%E2%80%9Cblack-woman%E2%80%9D-stereotypes/11/
https://mediaanarchist.wordpress.com/2010/06/20/attn-ladies10-tips-on-how-to-keep-a-black-man/
http://newblackwoman.com/2011/12/03/i-am-no-longer-a-feminist/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/26/black-single-mothers-biggest-impediment_n_3818824.html
