Why Black Feminism is a Joke (Part 1: the Criticism)

How this 'Fight for Equality' is Actually Detrimental to the Black Community.

This may offend some, but understand two things: a) this doesn't apply to every Black woman, and b) this doesn't apply to every Black mother. With that being said, I would like to offer a rant (kind of) regarding a seldom addressed issue in the Black community. This is only the first part, so please, by all means, stay tuned. Here are my reasons as to why Black feminism needs to come to an end.

1) It is hypocritical male-shaming.

You know the deal if you watch something like 'Maury' or 'Jerry Springer'. A Black woman is on the show bawling her eyes out about some guy who broke her heart or is dodging his responsibilities as a father. The host comforts her, then allows her to confront the source of her pain and misery by sending out the man, much to the disapproval of her and the crowd. After the screaming and yelling dies down, the guy explains his case briefly before another argument between the two former lovers break out. In Jerry Springer, it's usually two women fighting over the same guy for about a good 10 to 20 minutes. If it's Maury, it's about 5 to 10 minutes of the woman arguing with the guy over how much the baby looks just like him. When Maury finally steps in with the DNA results, the three wait in anticipation only to find out that he isn't the father. Shattered, the woman then runs backstage screaming and crying, with Maury trying to console her. If he is the father, he is berated even more, with the woman pointing her fingers in his face. This process repeats itself about 50 million times, making these shows a cult favorite built out of stereotypical minstrelsy.

From watching these shows, it is quite easy to point the finger at the guy for not being responsible. After all, the Black man is too busy trying to get girls to shake their asses to worry about things like 'responsibility'. This has been rebutted by the onslaught of other sleazy Hip-Hop music videos, by Oprah, and even by guys such as the radio host Michael Baisden.

Here is the hole in that logic. It takes two to tango, so if you got pregnant, there is a huge chance that it was consensual. In other words, if the guy is such an asshole who is only caught up in 'lookin' fly', then why don't you hesitate to sleep with him? Why do you have sex with multiple guys that are like that? Why do you look for your soul mate in a night club? On top of that, what's the big deal with things such as weaves, perms, and skin-lightening creams anyway? If it is true that Black girls rock, then why are we still caught up in the battle of skin tone?  Why are so many women obsessed with a man's money?  

 This has been an issue featured in many Rap songs such as 'Jazzy Belle', 'We Luv Deez Hoez', 'Treat Her Like a Prostitute', 'Just a Friend', 'You', 'Ms. Phat Booty', 'Butter', 'Ho Happy Jackie', 'Slow Down', 'Black Girl Lost', 'Doo Wop (That Thing)' 'Groupie Therapy', 'Groupie Part II', and countless other songs that I can't think of right now. "Hold on though," you might say. "All Hip-Hop music does is degrade women." And you're right. But only to an extent. For every song that calls all Black women a bunch of bitches and hoes, there is an equal amount of songs that do just the opposite. Think about songs such as 'Gettin' Up', 'Let's Ride', 'Brown Skin Lady', 'I Got a Love', 'Searching', 'The Light', 'Come Close', 'You're All I Need', 'Cherry Wine', 'I Need Love', 'Loungin'' 'Similak Child', 'She Said', 'Tasty', 'Bonita Applebum', 'Electric Relaxation', 'Renee', 'Eye Know', 'Sounds Like Love', 'Betta Listen', 'Prototype', (even 'Around the Way').

So if all these songs promote maturity and monogamy (or at least maturity), why is the former more popular amongst Black women than the latter?

Ready for the answer?.......It's the famous 'chicks dig bad boys' excuse. A lot of Black girls think like this (sorry MC Lyte). In other words, they are too busy following the 'free and independent' dogma to actually pay attention to how they have lowered their standards for dating. Even other Black women have talked about this issue. These women love to complain and say, "Where all the good men at?" They never realize that these 'good men' are standing aloof, wondering about what is going on in your thought process.

So let me get this straight, you complain about how all men are dogs, yet at the same time, you lay with them in a heartbeat. You intentionally seek out 'Omar the bitch-slappin' thug' and overlook 'Andre the intellectual' who is a successful businessman and who would love to start a family.

To put this in football terminology, it's like having multiple all-star receivers on the same offense going out for a pass. Instead of throwing the ball to the wide open receiver running the underneath route (which is a 12-yard curl & post) near the left sideline, you instead either throw the ball to the receiver running a zero route (screen pass) with the corner biting on the ball, or you attempt to throw a 50-yard fade route up the right sideline to the receiver in triple coverage with the Free Safety coming up on the ball.You keep making these poor decisions time and time again, yet you are actually surprised that the ball gets intercepted and/or taken in for a pick-6/multiple pick-6's.

Too many Black women have drunk the kool-aid that is this mindless promiscuity know as 'sexual freedom'. They have been discouraged from the pursuit of a committed relationship because it's 'too much of a hassle'. Thus, they only see men as baby-makers, and nothing else, saying things like, "I don't need a man!", "All guys are the same!", and "You can't trust men anyway!" They never realize that because they don't want a 'hassle', they usually give it up to the easiest guy they can find, which is the 'bad boy'. Over time, she begins to actually have feelings for this guy. And of course, because he hasn't learned to be responsible, he runs away the moment things get serious. This vicious cycle continues for generations, with no one actually stepping back and looking at the type of men that they look for. There's nothing wrong with a one-night stand every now and then, but when you give it up to any and every guy that you know (especially the bums who sag their pants), don't be surprised when those same people call you a bitch.

I had an epiphany the other day about this. You what I realized?

'Hoes' are 'freaks' with no standards. Let me say that again. HOES ARE FREAKS WITH ABSOLUTELY NO STANDARDS (and/or dignity)!  It is one thing to be really good at having sex. It is quite another to be spreading your legs for a guy when you don't even know his last name. This is why Meagan Good is lusted after so much. This is also why Eryka Badu is never really called a slut, whore, or skank, no matter how many times she takes her clothes off. How many guys can honestly say that they've had sex with either of them?

........................................

Exactly. Not many. On the other hand, Kiki and Shananay, the two ghetto-ass hoodrats from the neighborhood who love to go to the club and who each have 3-4 baby daddy's, won't get any respect because it's way too easy to 'hit it and quit it'.

2) It was purposely designed to drive a wedge in the Civil Rights movement.

This has been documented by the film Hidden Colors. By classifying and giving special attention and financial aid to Black women (welfare, WIC, etc.), it subliminally enforces the notion that Black women have to be strong and completely independent of males in order to succeed. This is mostly why the majority of Black kids today are born to single parent families. Get the women to think that they don't need the men, make them chase their men away, and you'll eventually cause a rift in the organization and push for freedom in the community. Why? because often times great change has actually started with the women and is picked up on later by the men. Think about Harriet Tubman or the Native Tongues phase of Hip-Hop.

Common addressed this mentality and hit it on the nail with this song.

(This is not to belittle women who are coincidentally single mothers, but it is to rather criticize those who like to have a lot of baby mama drama and what have you.)

This is the struggle over the last 50 years or so in a nutshell.

3) It conditions Black women to be aggressive and spiteful (and unreasonable). 

One 'unintended' consequence of Black Feminism is that it encourages Black women to 'hold their ground', 'represent', and 'never let a man tell them what to do'. Because of this, they often turn their aggression to men of their own color.

...I've seen people caught in love like whirlwinds, 

Listening to they squads and listening to girlfriends, 

That's exactly the point where their whole world ends, 

Lies come in, that's where that drama begins... 

-Black Thought of The Roots, 'You Got Me'

Because of this hypocritical indoctrination, no one (generally speaking) who is a Black man can be in a relationship nowadays without having to deal with constant arguing over trust and responsibility. If it isn't that, it's the 'mind games' that some women play. (Also notice how certain shows profit off of their spoiled attitude, especially when it comes to marriage.) It's a result of the classic 'divide and conquer' strategy. Even the comedian Eddie Griffin addressed this nonsense (3:48-5:44). Who made the rule that as a Black woman, you need to have 'attitude'? What's wrong with being peaceful and laid back? Why should you always yell at the kids for acting up, especially when a) they are allowed to eat a lot of junk food which messes them up, b) you know how it feels to be yelled at yourself, and c) kids naturally need to play due to their excess energy? 

...Something in the way society rears us, 

Commitment wears us, out it tears us, apart, 

and makes us feel we don't need to, 

and that turns into "I don't need you", 

People want what grandma and granddaddy had, 

But the ain't have options, nigga, we do, 

and we choose, to act foolish, 

Not Jewish, but when you hurt a man, baby he bruise/He-brews...

-Phonte, 'Sending My Love'

The funny thing about this is, it takes root growing up in school. Often, the same girls who go for the thugs because they think they can 'change' him (or because all they want is a quick hook-up) are the same ones who are crazy, delusional, and filled with unnecessary drama when the relationship is over afterwards. The ones who don't act that way are often mocked because they don't want to 'live a little'. Isn't that ironic? The worst part is, this carries over into their adult life, causing an even bigger rift in their relationships. No wonder so many women are unhappy.

This situation becomes especially damning because many of their erratic and destructive behaviors are justified by males who fail to see 'anything wrong' with what they are doing. This men, as a result, are called "simps". What is a simp? Let's stroll over to Urban Dictionary:

Simp

•A man that puts himself in a subservient/submissive position under women in hopes of winning them over, without the female bringing anything to the table. 

•A man that puts too much value on a female for no reason .

•A man that prides himself with "Chivalry" in hopes of getting sexual gratification from women .

•A square with no game other than “Rolling out the Red-Carpet” for every female.The perfect example of a "Simp" Man would be:

-The role Eddy Murphy played in the movie "Norbit",

-The role of Kevin James in the show "King of Queens",

-A "Yes Dear, Man" Simp

-by MackDamage December 07, 2012

These men also go by several other names, such as: "manginas", dudes with "no balls", and a "captain save a hoe". This situation is especially sticky because many guys are taught to be a gentleman (which they should be) who should value women in general, so when these women participate in very destructive behavior (and have waaaay too many criticisms of men in general), rather than avoiding these shallow-ass women altogether, they succumb their intestinal fortitude to these females. These females then treat these men like absolute shit, no matter how much they try to mend any wrongdoing, whether it be real or imagined. These guys either spend the rest of their lives being in a miserable relationship, or even the most passive and submissive of these men grow tired of all of her hypocritical victimization and get up and leave for good.  Once again lonely, instead of these women looking in the mirror at their actions and self-esteem, they continue to point the finger at everyone except themselves. Which brings me to another point.......

4) It encourages homosexuality through male bashing.

I know what some of you are thinking: "Oh, he's so homophobic!" No, I am not. Most of the time, I don't even care about what two girls or two guys do. But, what I don't like is how in order for you to not be considered homophobic, you have to complete the academic Olympics of tolerance and ass-kissing in order to be considered 'not homophobic', even if what you are being taught is secretly bullshit. Now don't get me wrong, I do understand how some Black people become gay because of abuse, molestation, heartbreak and/or inadequate sexual satisfaction. (Seriously, after hearing that poem, I promised myself to never brag about sex.)

BUT....

It still doesn't take away from the fact that a lot of this homosexuality stems from feminist criticism. When you are a kid (some of you), you are constantly forced to be around women in your family who do nothing except bash men (especially the dad) for acting like dogs. If you are a female, you are subject to the drama that Black Thought explained in The Roots song above. After your relationship ends, you are then fed the notion that instead of going for the man who is open, understanding, and who has his shit together, you should try to 'change' the thug. After that fails (and/or after the fails to satisfy you sexually), you are then consoled by that same friend who claims continuously that all men are dogs (still) and are not to be trusted. After this cycle repeats itself several times, you become sick of dating men and then start becoming a lesbian, much to the satisfaction of your supposed best friend. Andre 3000 absolutely nailed this thought process in the Outkast song 'Mamacita'.

If you are the son/nephew, you bear the brunt of the criticism, being blamed somehow for her being unhappy.Your natural and genetic masculinity is looked upon as being an evil thing, so in order for you to be accepted by your family members, you have to get rid of it. This is why Black feminists love being around gay Black men so much. Again, it's one thing to be a homosexual out of curiosity. It's another thing entirely if you have been subject to having Black feminism shoved down your throat and as a result become gay.   

5) At the end of the day, it attempts to recondition Black women back into 'mammies' and shameless sluts (aka Negro bed wenches).  

Really though, why do some Black women give all the hell and drama to the Black men, yet never let it translate to men of other races (especially white men)? Maybe it's because this 'push for equality' is really trying to get Black women to do this:

which leads to this:

in order to get them back to acting like this:

That's right. All this dogma about how "ain't no good Black men around" and "doing anything a man can do" is all a ploy to get Black women to start to act like the stereotypical 'mammies' and again. Don't get me wrong, it's one thing to date inter-racially due to mutual curiosity. However, when you feel that it is okay to support a show that basically enforces the stereotypical bed wench/mammy role of the Black women during slavery, while simultaneously berating a person that criticizes the women for having multiple baby daddy's, you probably need to start reevaluating some of the core values that you have been taught as a child. The Black Feminists and their push of 'freedom and independence from [Black] men' is totally not an idea directly lifted from the Willie Lynch Letter.

You see, we have become so used the getting lead around solutions to our everyday issues that when someone comes in and tells the truth straight up, we feel offended. This is why people like Tariq Nasheed and TJ Sotomayor are so controversial. Their sobering views are far cries from the everyday ego masturbation that a large portion of Black women go through. But if you if you were to point these things out, you could be  in serious trouble.

Conclusion:

You may be wondering why I don't address the chauvinistic male mentality in some Black men. It's simple really. It has already been addressed several times, by several different people, including Richard Pryor. You might look at me and think, "What the hell does he know about relationships? He's just a high school senior who listens to Hip-Hop all day!" And to that, I say....

LOOK AROUND YOU! I CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP! DO NOT JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT! USE YOUR OWN TWO EYES!

*pauses*, *takes deep breath*

Look, I see that things aren't perfect. Sometimes, relationships just don't work out as planned. It doesn't mean that we should be hostile. If we want things to get better, we have to have a mutual understanding of each other. Slum Village perfectly demonstrates this ever changing dating dynamic. If Black women want to be respected more, then quit acting like this:

A sad reality nowadays.

It's not okay to act like trained attack dogs. If we want to get back to our original greatness, we have to realize that we need to stop being participants in this never-ending petty ass battle of one-upsmanship between the male chauvinist pigs and the scandalous Jezebels that are these feminists. It's all a self-destructive cycle. And it all needs to end, NOW!


P.S. Even the most absurd male chauvinist will never utter the words, "I can do anything a woman can do!"

Further Reading/Watching:
http://www.rhymeswithsnitch.com/2012/04/kevin-hart-suing-black-women.html
http://bmawufbp.blogspot.com/2012/08/why-are-so-many-quality-black-women.html#.UqNvk_RDuJ4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tatw6W7vHLM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YG228i_Kls4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3m3t_PxiUI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgG51yJ1k38&list=UUeKnBEG-MxAF7fIpB5vJI-g